Of Ferrari, India and Nadal…

A sports bonanza…Silverstone Grand Prix, Asia Cup finals and the Wimbledon finals…what else would you wish on a Sunday afternoon? The Grand Prix saw Hamilton making a come back in a grand style and Ferraris  barely managing to win a few points, India faltering in yet another final…but Nadal living up to the expectations. It was an epic Wimbledon final and after the disappointing performance by both the Indian cricket team and the Ferraris, it was wonderful to watch Nadal crushing Federer for good…

And for those who missed out on the match. Make sure you watch the repeat telecast, for it would go down as one of the most famous battles in the history of Wimbledon and that of Tennis…

What does the fortune teller foretells? Are things changing finally?

Faring well…eh!

Aeons have passed, and despite so many complaints and requests from few people who actually read my blog (not many are aware that I do have a blog…yeah, I am an epitome of modesty), I have been letting them down for long. So lemme just take stock of what I have been doing…

Singapura: Slogged and slogged…averaging around 18 hours a day (phew!). And not surprisingly, I did like the work. It was engrossing at times. And for the rest of the time, well! I just had to do it. And yeah! Singapura was fun. Motu & I explored all the exquisite cuisines Singapura had to offer, well almost all. Crabs, lobsters, cheesecakes…! And Gajodhar was a discovery…

Amritsar to Godda: 36 hours long train journey with mom, dad, didi and Archu. Spent hours and hours talking to di about how she plans to reform the education system of Bihar. She is some inspiration. She amazes me with her confidence in everything she does. And yet! I can feel the sadness beneath the surface which brings out the vulnerability in her eyes.

Archu was a revelation. The fear of sleeping on the top most berth still haunts him and yet he has matured in more ways than one. The PSP would have kept him engaged for all 36 hours, had it not been for the Indian Railways. For once we were thankful that not all trains provide facilities to charge portable devices. He was made to study a bit though, which obviously did not leave him very happy.

And the memories which hit me like a gust of wind. While lying down, I went through all of them, frame by frame, and was engulfed once again in loneliness.

Home: The house looks prettier now. Choti has done some amazing work with the living room and mom couldn’t resist the temptation of showing me around the moment I entered the house. But the room on the top floor (it’s supposed to be my room) looks lonely, with dull coloured sheets covering everything in the room. Would I ever stay in that room?

Spent considerable amount of time exploring the four (yes four it is) terraces, giving ideas to mom as to how can she convert one of them to a bar. She was furious; nevertheless she agreed to add at least a shed to one of the terraces, with sitting arrangements.

With Sarah: Wonderful! Would I be able to relive the times again? I wonder…

Chose to live…

From a friend….

I am not supposed to provide solutions, nor am I adept at giving reasons. There are numerous options available, but I won’t help you evaluate them. But I promise, I would be with you. Till the end.

Choice is yours. It isn’t easy, it has never been. Not for you, nor for anyone else. But still people have made choices. And the only commonality is that they chose to live.

Is it so difficult? It damn very much is.

Where are we heading to? Where would we end up? They say, journey matters. Destination is but an illusion. Life is sum total of what you did, of what you experienced, of whom you experienced with. Along the journey, I promise to be with you. I would share your thoughts, if you care to share them with me. You would have my shoulders, whenever you need to cry. I promise, I would be with you.

I would not ask questions. I won’t seek answers. I won’t judge you.

I promise, I would be with you.

Letting go…

Golu is still holding on to her. He knows he should let it go. But he is at his wits end. How should he let go? He is confused and feels helpless. Would he be able to come out of the sorry state of affairs he was in?

They say he would. With time…

He has been trying to drown himself in work for past couple of months. He has plans of starting his studies soon in a hope to re initiate his life. But it isn’t helping him much. He reminisces the days spent with Sarah. Sarah! He shouts her name aloud. A cold wave touches his feet, washing away the sand he stands on, and a shiver runs through his spine. He falls deeper into the abyss.

He knew it was inevitable and had been preparing himself to face this day for a long time now. But the force with which it hit him, has taken him by surprise. The pangs of pains cut through his soul and he feels bloodless.

He still clings to some hope, not sure of what might become of him and of Sarah. He thinks he believes in destiny. But deep inside, he knows, it’s an end, or may be a beginning. Golu is not sure. He is not sure of anything these days.

Destiny, yeah! He finishes his last beer and walks towards his car, preparing himself for yet another sleepless night.

Faith…

I feel the pain

I count the days and they seem so few

I count the hours and they seem to fly

My feelings are trapped and I stifle a cry

I hang to my faith

 

You have to leave and I have no say

We have no time

We’ll meet again

In the scheme of things

You say to me

Yet…

It’s hard

To keep my faith

 

I cherish the days

The moments we spent

The strength you gave

The joys we had

The bliss…

But it’s today

I feel so vulnerable

I fear my faith

 

So much still to do

Things we missed

Plays we couldn’t watch

Restaurants we didn’t explore

Travels we planned

And yet…

I feel so numb; I can’t feel your pain

I lose my faith