Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I’m the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I’m walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What’s fucked up and everything’s alright
Check my vital signs
To know I’m still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a…

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I’m the only one and I walk a…

My shadow’s the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
‘Til then I walk alone…

Intermission I guess!

I had an opportunity of talking to one of my professors from IIT Roorkee a couple of weeks ago. Her warm, homely voice took me down the memory lane of what it used to be when I was at the college. Her husband is no more and I could glean a sense of sadness in her usual jovial voice. She was worried about her son who had been hopping from one company to another. I tried to assure her that eventually he would do well. I hope I did assuage some of her fears.

 

Life has taken so many turns and has finally narrowed down into a small stream. I know this would not last and even from here I can see the next turn. I am afraid for I do not know what lies beyond the turn. I am afraid that it might turn out to be one big waterfall or a gigantic whirlpool that might suck me into it. But then I might enjoy it as well.

12 Angry Men

Watched the movie today. Classic black and white. Reminded me of The Runaway Jury by John Grisham. But far better.

 It’s a compelling drama and a must watch…

Chose to live…

From a friend….

I am not supposed to provide solutions, nor am I adept at giving reasons. There are numerous options available, but I won’t help you evaluate them. But I promise, I would be with you. Till the end.

Choice is yours. It isn’t easy, it has never been. Not for you, nor for anyone else. But still people have made choices. And the only commonality is that they chose to live.

Is it so difficult? It damn very much is.

Where are we heading to? Where would we end up? They say, journey matters. Destination is but an illusion. Life is sum total of what you did, of what you experienced, of whom you experienced with. Along the journey, I promise to be with you. I would share your thoughts, if you care to share them with me. You would have my shoulders, whenever you need to cry. I promise, I would be with you.

I would not ask questions. I won’t seek answers. I won’t judge you.

I promise, I would be with you.

Letting go…

Golu is still holding on to her. He knows he should let it go. But he is at his wits end. How should he let go? He is confused and feels helpless. Would he be able to come out of the sorry state of affairs he was in?

They say he would. With time…

He has been trying to drown himself in work for past couple of months. He has plans of starting his studies soon in a hope to re initiate his life. But it isn’t helping him much. He reminisces the days spent with Sarah. Sarah! He shouts her name aloud. A cold wave touches his feet, washing away the sand he stands on, and a shiver runs through his spine. He falls deeper into the abyss.

He knew it was inevitable and had been preparing himself to face this day for a long time now. But the force with which it hit him, has taken him by surprise. The pangs of pains cut through his soul and he feels bloodless.

He still clings to some hope, not sure of what might become of him and of Sarah. He thinks he believes in destiny. But deep inside, he knows, it’s an end, or may be a beginning. Golu is not sure. He is not sure of anything these days.

Destiny, yeah! He finishes his last beer and walks towards his car, preparing himself for yet another sleepless night.

Faith…

I feel the pain

I count the days and they seem so few

I count the hours and they seem to fly

My feelings are trapped and I stifle a cry

I hang to my faith

 

You have to leave and I have no say

We have no time

We’ll meet again

In the scheme of things

You say to me

Yet…

It’s hard

To keep my faith

 

I cherish the days

The moments we spent

The strength you gave

The joys we had

The bliss…

But it’s today

I feel so vulnerable

I fear my faith

 

So much still to do

Things we missed

Plays we couldn’t watch

Restaurants we didn’t explore

Travels we planned

And yet…

I feel so numb; I can’t feel your pain

I lose my faith

 

Death Aplenty!!!!

Everyday it’s a massacre. Right?

First time you get a mail, you rush to the notice board to be disappointed. Next time, you walk down the gallery with cautious steps. Eventually you have to drag yourself to face it yet again. The disappointment, the frustration!!

You desperately seek your name amongst the shortlisted students and wonder what did you lack or what did your resume lack. Is it because I am not from an IIT, or is it because I missed out on a good JEE rank? It could be because I did not perform during my professional career or may be I am no good at all. You try to reason it out but that makes things worse. Reasoning leads to further depression, because what other reason can you attribute to the utterly miserable state of affairs other than that you are a worthless moron.

And ah! the dreams you had. Dreams of attaining salvation, of washing off your earlier sins and of a fresh beginning.

But still you hope.

And one fine day, even hope deserts you for how long can you cling to this eighth sin. And the worst part, you still have to continue with your normal life, attend classes, write quizzes, be awake during endless PPTs…

That is it all about. Isn’t? The game should go on. For there are many more to come.

@ Back to iSkool

Two weeks at IIM B, and I am still to get into the rhythm of the place. I suppose things would eventually settle down, but the frenzied pace itself is overwhelming. Failures, success, passion, disappointments, enthu…..and the list goes on and on…..

One and half hour of class is difficult at a stretch and I dozed of a zillion times in the classroom in just a week. Am trying to device new ways of “staying alive”.

Flying Times

Days have passed by quickly, and I have acquired a lot of miles on my emirates frequent flier account, traveling all around the globe from India to Yemen to Houston to Sanaa to Dubai to India…..and back to Dubai on my way to Yemen. Have not been able to catch up with the blogging stuff. Hopefully would do so now.

U Know How It Is..??

This question freaks me out. How am I supposed to know how it is? Okay, so you had a bad day at office and to my question what went wrong, you reply, you know how it is. You have a top supervisor visiting your location, and you probably have to work your ass off. But I still don’t know how it is. Break up with your girlfriend, or probably the girl you like has umpteen boy friends, and in all probability she doesn’t give a damn for you. So am I supposed to know how is it?

I do nod in assurance and that probably makes you conclude that I am with you in what you feel and think. But I have no clue. I nod because I don’t know how to react to the question. I am sure you don’t expect a reply like, damn! I have absolutely no idea as to how is it, or hey! I am not going through it, and so don’t expect me to know how is it, or even better, hey!I think you deserve it.

Yes, there are times and events which I can relate too, and probably I can identify your feelings and thoughts. But that doesn’t imply I would be sympathetic. I have no idea as to how & why did you get into such situation. I have the picture you portray, and I would be foolish to accept it in entirety. For all I know, you deserved the outcome. And for all you know I myself would have been involved in some sinisterly secret way in the outcome.

But for all those who don’t get it, you know how it is……??